This is an intervention. She has been with me for years, being sent to live with me by my parents. She was young and full of energy, even attractive and hard-working. However, she began to unravel a while back. Slacking off on her duties, resisting my direction, she has become hard to handle. I’ve lost control of her. She and my dog fight incessantly. She is noisy, unruly, and untidy. Eating things she shouldn’t has made her unable to do her job. Awful smells and noises follow her wherever she goes. When she started smoking, I warned her she might have to leave. She didn’t listen. I admit I had grown fond of her, and replacing her will be difficult. But it’s time. I mean, she rarely comes out in the open anymore. We just can’t depend on her. As I roll her out to the driveway to be taken away tomorrow, I hope she finds happiness with other vacuum cleaners at her new destination.